Chapter- 21

MARRIED LIFE
(Vaiwaahik jeevana)
|| Salutations to shrigurudeva ||

TRADITIONAL MATRIMONIAL RITES AND THE NEED OF FREEDOM FOR CONSIDERATION OF CHOOSING THE LIFE PARTNER

Eeshwaraachya ichchheche pooraka | samaajache donachi ghatak |
Purush aani mahila dekha | srushtichakra chaalaveeti ||1||

There are two and only two constituents which constantly rotate the cycle of the nature according to the desire of Great God. They are the male and the female. They fulfil the divine wish of God in running the rotation of the human society. ||1||

Chaalavaa jagaacha prawaaha | whava nisarga gunaancha nirwaaha |
Yaa-satheech yojilaa viwaaha | Dharmadnyaani tayaancha ||2||

To keep this rotation of the world's cycle continueously in a healthy and sound state and to tend the natural instincts and tendencies of the man and the woman, our wise ancestors had designed a very systematic structure. This whole set up, established by the religious and dutifully minded seers, is called the institution of the marriage. ||2||

Stree-purush hee dona chaake | Jaree paraspara sahayake |
Tareech sansaar ratha chaley koutuke | Graama hoyee aadarsha ||3||

The man and the woman are the two wheels of the cycle of the nature. If both of them become complementary to each other and co-operate with each other harmoniously, the chariot of their united house life (mundane) will run smoothly in a satisfactory and comfortable manner. Such harmonious families will make the whole village the most ideal one. ||3||

Pari yaachi helasaand zaalee | Viwaahaachi rudhich banalee |
Maga yaatoonachi udayaa aalee |Hajara dukkhe samaajachi ||4||

But unfortunately the very aims and objects of establishing the institution of marriage had been totally connived at or forgotten and marriages became a rigorous and rigid tradition of the society. This stubborn rigidity of the tradition of marriage had created plenty of sorrows and sufferings in the healthy human society. ||4||

Purushaarthasi vaiwaahik jeevana| viwaaha samaj sthairyaache saadhana |
Pari waadhoni adnyaan, pralobhana | zaali dhooldhaan samaajachi ||5||

In fact, matrimonial rites had been established as the means to achieve the four objectives (purushaartha - Dharma (duty), Artha (wealth), kaam (desire) and mokhsha (emancipation) and to bring the stability to the healthy society. But the ignorance and the unending greed in the human developed more and more which led the social life towards deterioration and downfall. ||5||

Kiteetaree mulee asatee sundar | pari hundyasaathi raahatee kuwaar |
Taisaachi mulaancha vyawahaar | jaateet bhaase kityeka ||6||

We find, so many girls are very beautiful yet they can't get married due to the evil practice of dowry system. Similarly, there are some castes in which male has to pay dowry to female's family. So many young promising boys have to remain unmarried as they are unable to fulfill the demand of dowry from the brideside. ||6||

Aisee waaeet padalee pratha | Tene vyabhichaar waadhale sarwatha |
hey mahapaap ase maatha | samaajachya. ||7||

This harmful evil practice of dowry system has resulted in spreading adultery on a large scale in the social life. The human society has to suffer severe sorrowful consequences of this inhuman tradition. ||7||

Kunaache pitey lagna karoni detee | Gharaane, paise, pratishtha baghatee |
viwaahaa aadhi na pusatee || Doghaansa - hee ||8||

Fathers (and the elders) of both brides and bridegrooms decide their marriages giving undue importance to the family status, high lineage of the families, financial condition etc. They don't even ask or discuss with the boy or the girl (who are actually going to be married) while deciding the marriages. ||8||

Bhinna swabhaawaache praanee | Jamawoni aanaavet dusaryaanni |
Kaisee ruchel jindagaanee | doghaasahee ? ||9||

(1) The two unknowing beings having different temperaments and nature are brought together (to spend the whole life with each other) by other persons.

(2) The persons, other than the bride and bride groom decide to tie them with the bond of marriage. (3) They both are completely unaware of each other's traits and temperaments. How can then their married life become happy, smooth and successful? ||9||

Wadilancha maan raakhava | Mhanoni kaa sansaar naagawaava?
Asaa tari hetu ka dharaava | warishthaannee? ||10||

Should the young boys and girls spoil their married life only to maintain the honour and prestige of their parents? Why should the elders in the family insist upon their inconsiderate and stubborn attitude? ||10||

Viwaahaasaathi parasparaane | pahaave doghannahi nishchayaane |
Vichaar swaatantrya doghaannahi dene | agatyaache ||11||

Before deciding the marriage, both the boy and the girls must have seen and got well acquainted with each other. Both must be given full freedom to think over their choice and expectations from each other and they must be allowed to take their own decision (without any pressure from the elders) about their approval or disapproval. ||11||

Vadilaanni pahaavee eka khoona | Lagna karitee kaaya andhale howoon |
pashchaattapaache kaaran | na padaave mhanoniya ||12||

The father and the elderly persons in the family should give careful attention upon only one point and that is whether the boy or the girl is delusioned by the beauty or the sound financial status of the family while approving each other; so that they should not have to repent in their whole future life. ||12||

Eravhi doghaanchyaahi matey | Lagna julawonee aanaave su-matey |
Nandot doghehi eksute | sansaar sukhee karaavaya ||13||

The parents and the elders of the boy and the girl should have the welfare of the new couple in their view and considerations. Before settling the marriage, both the boy and the girl should have negotiations and should convince each other. The elders should see that both the boy and the girl, if united by the bond of marriage, will have unanimous considerations in making their married life happy and successful. ||13||

Julataa doghaanchehi vichaar | vikaas paavel kaarbhaar |
Doghaanchi utsaaha shakti apaar | kaarya kareel seveche ||14||

When the parents and the elders find that the boy and the girl have agreed upon a good mutual understanding and their thinking line is agreeable to each - other, they should settle their marriage. It will make their married life very happy and prosperous. When the energy of the boy and girl gets united, then it can render a concrete service to the village. ||14||

uttam raahane, uttam bolane | uttam soundarya saatwik teney |
Gharaamaaji shobhoon uthatee teney | Dewata janu samavichaare ||15||

Then their conversation and living routine will go on in an excellent manner. par excellence will appear in their beauty and will bring pious, pure and virtuous adoration to them. In the families of them both, they will be adorned and praised like gods & goddesses. ||15||

Vicharaavina je je karane | Tey sarvachi hotey laajirawaane |
Aisechi maageel garhane | Aikato aamhi ||16||

Any action, performed without proper consideration, ends in shame and disgrace. We have heard of such incidents in the past (in which hasty decision and action without due and proper consideration have proved a total failure) ||16||

Bhogaasaathi lagna kele | Aandhalepane sansaar, chaale |
varsha lotitachi gondhalale | donhee praanee ||17||

If the marriage is performed only with the view of enjoying sensual and sexual pleasures then the whole married life of the couple becomes a chaotic mess. In just a short period of a year, both get completely perplexed and their houre life gets completely disturbed and spoiled.||17||

Ek ekaashi bolenaa | sanshaya waadhale donhee jana |
kashaacha sansaar? yamayaatanaa | waate pati-patneesi||18||

Then both the husband and the wife begin to avoid each other and even stop talking to each other. They form grudges and suspicions for eachother. Then both of them begin to feel that their house life is as painful and sorrowful as the termination imposed by the God of death.||18||

Vishaya - vikaare lagna kele | poorveech parasparaanshi naahi olakhale |
Tene sarvachi waaya gele | Jeeven doghaanche ||19||

Had they got married only to enjoy carnal and sexual desire, then it is sure that both the husband and wife had not got well acquainted and well understood each other. Then they get their life spoiled. ||19||

Kewal bhogaasaathi lagna | hey to disey vichitrapana |
kaaya hotey pashoo jamawon | eke thayee? ||20||

It really appears strange to get married with the desire to enjoy pleasures. It is nothing less than bringing the two beasts together. How can there exist the bliss of happy life. ||20||

Manawaanche ek honey | sukhahee tyaanna thengane |
Tyaanchya samyoge utkarsha pawane | lawanyaasi ||21||

When two humanbeings come together with full consideration and understanding, it means seeking happiness more than heavenly pleasures and happiness. Their togetherness brings full blossom to the heavenly beauty. ||21||

(SANTATIDHANA) VALUABLE TREASURE OF OFF-SPRINGS, INTERCASTE MARRIAGES AND MARRIAGES OF AGED COUPLES

Shwaananchiya pashutwa samyogey | Janmatee jeeva karmabhogel
Taakilee jaatee sarva maarge | shwaan-pilee ||22||

The off-springs, produced through the mere enjoyment of intercourse are like the pleasure of animals like dogs which get born only to suffer for their sins, they had committed in their previous births. That is why we find a large number of puppies straying here and there ||22||

Taise nohey maanawaanche | Tyaanche raahane jabaabdaariche |
Ek-santaanahi thora kaamaache | digantaree ||23||

Human life is not like the wretched life of cats and dogs. A strong feel of responsibilities lies in human life. If man has only one great son possessing valour in performing glorious acts and feats in the world, he can have resounding name and fame throughout the world for himself and for his family. ||23||

Deshi paahije sarvachi dhana | raanadhana; Tenee, aadi maandhana|
Dravyadhana, khanee aani godhana | sarva kaahi ||24||

The nation must possess all kinds of wealth. It should have ample forest treasures, plenty of (Leney) - (i) ornaments and jewellary (ii) Excavations of beautiful carvings in caves in the hills and mountains; Sound finance, rich deposits of various minerals, enormous stock of cattle etc. ||24||

Sarva dhanaamaaji suputradhana | waadhave raanadhanae gourava sthana |
Mhanonich wadhu-waraanni shodhoon | Logna karaave vichaare ||25||

The most valuable and the most excellent of all the treasures is the treasure of the good and virtueous son. Such noble sons should be brought up as the highest honour of the nation as they add to the high status of the nation in the world. So before getting married, both the bride and the bridegroom must have deep and all sided considerations. ||25||

Naahitari martukade putra whave | Tene gharane budoni jaave |
Deshaasahi kalankit karave | na howo aise ||26||

Otherwise, if they produce the wretched, bony, meagre and puny sons, the whole family will come to a downfall due to their weakness and cowardness. They will tarnish the image of the nation also by making it weak. The man and his wife must have a good consideration so that this may not happen.||26||

uttam beejaasi uttama jameen | Teney vrukhsha waadhato bheduni Gagana |
Aisechi asaave santaana | Balbheemasaarikhe ||27||

When pithful productive excellent seed unites with the excellently furtile land, a huge and enormous tree grows up tearing the sky and spreads up rapidly. The nation wants such human off springs from the young couples. They should be as strong and powerful as HANUMANT (Balabheem). But for producing such strong and powerful off-springs, both the bride and the bridegroom should be perfect and faultless. ||27||

Aise santaan gharane shobhavee | Ekvees kulaanche naava jagavee |
swakartavyaane chamakavee | desh aapula ||28||

such children will adorn their families. They will spread the glory of their twenty-one ancestral generations. They will increase the glory of their nation by enacting good deeds and by noble behaviour. ||28||

Pari putraanchihee asaavee maryaada | Deshi na waadhavee aapada |
shareer samrakhshanaachihee sampada | Gamaawoo naye sansaaree ||29||

(But remember) The number of children must be limited. The fast growing population will bring the country into the lot of hardships and produce critical problems. Similarly the physical strength and vigour depend upon semen. so it must not be wasted unnecessarily. ||29||

Nirogee rakta, uttama guna | suswabhaavi aise santaana |
Hey naahi sarvaswee awalamboona | jaatee-kula-gotraavaree ||30||

Producing a child of pure and healthy blood; bearing desent virtues and having good nature and temperament, does not solely depend upon the caste, the family lineage (Gotra) and the race of the family. ||30||

Doghe praanee upawar asatee | Bhinnajaatee lagna karu mhanatee |
vichaare karita, tyaasi sammatee | Awashya dyaavee ||31||

If the boy and girl belonging to different castes are matured enough to get married and both of them considerately decide to get united by a marriage bond, the parents of both should give them full consent and allow them to marry. ||31||

Guna gunakade dhaava geto | Aapan shastree puraanihee aikato |
Mishra wiwaahane bighaad hoto | Mhanane vyartha ||32||

It is but natural if the boy and the girl (whatever different castes they may belong to) possess agreeable and matching virtues and accommodating temperaments, they may get attracted towards each other. We find so many examples in this regard as the proof in our shastraas and puranas. so it is wrong to say that the consequences of the intercaste marriages are always bad and harmful and they end in a pitiful failure.||32||

Mishra viwaah aisaa nasaava | ichchha nasata balee paadava |
vichaar karanyaas avakaash dyaava | prasanna chittee ||33||

If the bride and bridegroom belonging to different castes do not want to get married with each other, they must not be forced to do so. Let them have enough time to think over the marriage proposal and let them take their own decision with open mind.||33||

Vichaare jeevanaachya sangraami | `Haachi viwaaha karoo aamhee'|
Mhanatee donhee vivekee premee | Aaad kona kaa yaave?||34||

If the bride and bridegroom both have duly considered and decided that they should get married and face the life struggles after marriage with harmonious co-operation, why should anybody have any objection and stand as the stumbling block in their way? ||34||

Maage gunaviwaaha bahut zaale | shrikrushne arjunaadike kele |
samaaji anek prayog ghadale | viwaahaanche bhinna bhinna ||35||

In the past we find so many examples of such marriages performed with consideration of the importance of the matching virtues of the man and the woman. Due to strong attraction towards the virtues of each other, lord Krishna and Arjuna had got married to Rukmini and subhadra respectively. There are a lot of such examples in the human society that such marriages have been performed with different purposes and in different ways. ||35||

Guna - samyaache mishra viwaaha | Veerashreechya kasoteeche viwaaha |
Rashtraateel bhed mitawinyaache viwaaha | Naana jamaatimadhooni ||36||

(for example) some marriages of different caste couples had been performed finding that the bride and bridegroom possessed agreeable virtues and temperaments. Some other marriages were arranged by testing the velour and bravery of the young and vigourous youths. Some marriages were performed through the need to meet out and settle internal struggles between the two nations. In this way the marriages of brides & bridegrooms belonging to different castes, tribes and races had been settled & performed with different objectives and motives. ||36||

THE HARMFUL CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS RELATING TO THE NEGOTIATIONS AND PERFORMANCE OF THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF MARRIAGES

Aise anek taatwik vivaaha | Tyaat kaahi Rakhshas vivaaha
Baljabareene bandhale deha | Anek hetoonsaathi ||37||

Some of such marriages were settled and performed on certain purposeful principles. Some were performed `employing force and kidnapping the bride (Rakhshas viwaaha) and by making excesses upon her. Thus the two beings were tied together by physical power, by power of money or by political power for various purposes. ||37||

Aishya goshtees maatra japaave | Baalpaneehi lagna nasaave |
samjootdaarine karunee dyaave | Lagnaprasanga ||38||

Today we should save the young boys and girls from such marriages, similarly marriages of unmatured underage children must not be performed. (In some castes and tribes, it is a custom to perform marriages of boys and girls when they are in their early childhood). Marriages should be settled with all sided careful considerations and then should be performed. ||38||

Kaahi pityaanchi asate housa | Muleeche vaya teen varsha |
Athawaa asataa teen maas | karitee lagna ||39||

The fathers of the children have some strange inordinate desires and they get their daughters married even when they are three years old or three months old. ||39||

Vayaat yetee vadhuvara | Maheet nasato maanavee vyawahaara |
Balee padatee rudhisi paamar | Donhi praanee ||40||

In such cases, when the boy and the girl get matured and enter in their early youth, they do not fully know the secret practices to be performed between male and female and what are the fine ways in dealing with each other as the husband and wife. Both the poor and miserable souls fall prey to the inhumane customs and traditions of the society which they belong to. ||40||

Pudhe ek ekaashi na miley | sarpa-mungusaapari sagale |
Maga panchaayatee-notisaanche sohale | jeevan gaarad yaatachi ||41||

Further, they develop struggles and quarrels between themselves, bearing enmity for each other. they fight like the snake and mongoose every now and then. Then starts a long procedure of serving legal notices to each other, or taking the issue for divorce to the village or caste panchayat. All this commotion leads spoiling the precious years of youthful ages of both of them. ||41||

Kaahee mulee vidhawaa hotee | Baal vayeech pati vaaratee |
pudhe tyaanchi hotey phajeeti | Lagnaa waachonee ||42||

(The most humiliating and worst effect of the child marriages is that) Husbands of some miserable unfortunate girls die at a very early age. They have to spend their whole long life as the widows of their deceased husbands. Due to cruel and rigid customs of some sects and castes, these young widow girls are deprived of human rights or they are not allowed to perform a remarriage. Some of them turn to sinful wrong ways and so get disregarded by their relatives and society. ||42||

Rudhee saangate lagna na karaave | Mana baaware koni aawaraave?
chorunee paapaccharanee whaave | Taree te dukkha daayee ||43||

The rigid restrictions of social customs and traditions prevent the young widows from getting remarried. Due to the blossom of youth their minds naturally lean towards sexual pleasures. Some of them try to commit adultery in secret but further they have to face disgraceful and tormenting consequences for their sinful enactments. ||43||

Aishyaa jya jya waaeet reeti | zugaaronee dyaavya haatohaati |
karaavee punhaa navin nirmitee | samaaj niyamaanchee ||44||

Today it is the most essential necessity that all these harmful and unfair, unrighteous customs and practices which have deeply rooted into the social life, should be thrown away immediately. New social rules and laws with broad outlook, sympathy and clear understanding, should be framed and decidedly implemented. ||44||

Jyaa vidhawes waate lagna karaave | Tine vadeel dhaaryaansi saangaave |
Tyaanni sarthudayapane lagna yojaave | jeevadharma mhanoniya ||45||

If the widow wants to get remarried, she should communicate her desire to the elders of her family. From humanitarian point of view the elders should very sympathetically consider her desire and honor it thinking about the natural instincts of the poor soul. They should consider it their duty to arrange her second marriage. ||45||

Jya vidhavechi ichchna naahi | Tilaa chhaloo naye konee kadaahee |
Tee sati sannyaasinee samjonee dehee | Raakhaavee samaajune ||46||

If the widow has no desire for remarriage, nobody should force her and try to create troubles for her by employing force upon her to commit something sinful and wrong. the society should hold her as the pure and pious chaste wife or a sanyaasini or a holy nun and look after her respectfully. ||46||

Aise hey ghadu dyaave | Manawaanchya prakrutee swabhaave |
Tareech maanava mhanavine barave | shobha detey ||47||

Therefore, with due sympathetic consideration and understanding the natural instincts and different temparaments of the different individuals, let the things happen with her proper decision. Then only we can have a right to call ourselves as human beings and will be worthy of calling ourselves as a human. ||47||

Kaahinche vadeel lagna karoni detee | Manaas vaatel to hunda ghetee |
Jod-vijod kaahee na paahatee | Dhanaa paayee ||48||

Some greedy fathers of the bridegrooms demand huge amounts as dowry for getting their sons married. Falling prey to the greed for money, they totally ignore the other necessary factors like proper ages, matching physique, traits etc of the bride and bridegrooms. Thus they try to bind two unfit and unmatching souls together with the bond of marriage. ||48||

Vruddha waa rogee asoni vara | vadhu detee baalika sundara |
Dhanaasaathi durvyawahaar | paropariche ||49||

Some greedy father of a small beautiful girl performs devilish dealing of money and arranges the marriage of his little beautiful daughter with the overage old man or with some patient suffering from some disease. ||49||

Mulaa-muleencha ghevoni paisa | jeevanaat waadhavitee niraasha |
Molaane kaa prem phaasa | pade galee konaachya? ||50||

When the parents of the bride and bridegroom give and take money for their children and perform their marriage, it creates a great unrest and disappointment in the life of the married couple. You can use your forces to compel the boy and the girl to get married and you can make your monatory gains, but how can you force and compel them to love eachother? ||50||

Baalak-baalikesi waacha nasate | Tond phodonee bolena tey |
Pari hey kasaab mhanaave purate | Je vijod lagna yojitee ||51||

Poor miserable children! They can't express their feelings with open mind and freely due to fear and intimidation for their formidable parents and elders. such persons, who arrange such inharmonious marriages of odd couples and compel them to coalesce, should be considered as butchers. ||51||

Aishaa asatil jya vedyaa reetee | Tya kaadhoni taakaavya pravrutte |
Jeevanaache prem chittee | Techi dhan samjaave ||52||

It is necessary to change absolutely the tendency working behind such harmful traditions and customs. The real wealth is the selfless love of the husband and wife for eachother. ||52||

Jyaane mula-muleeche paise ghetale | Tyaasi samaajaane paahije nishedhile |
Tareech hey duraagraha modaley | jateel aata ||53||

The whole human society should lodge a strong protest against those who demand money for marriages of their sons or daughters. When they are resolutely boycotted by the society, this obstinacy in following the harmful custom will be uprooted. ||53||

Naahitaree hundyapandyasaathee | jeevan hoyeel masanawatee |
anek mule-mulee karitee shewatee | Aatmaghaat ||54||

If the society will not root out this tradition of dowry, it will devastate the life of the husband and wife and they will feel it horrible like living in any cemetery. Several marriageable boys and girls will commit suicide through their frustration and extreme disappointment as they can't marry due to the demand of huge dowry. ||54||

Kityeka haat dharonee jaatee | samaaj jeewanee kaalvitee maatee |
pari lobha na sodawe shahaaniyaampratee | paishaancha ajuni ||55||

It is also possible that many girls will elope away with some youths as they could not seek love by getting married. They may be deceived by crafty youths or they may commit adultery. All these wrong enactments will make the social life impure and immoral. Yet the so called wise but extremely greedy fathers of the boys and girls don't give up their lust for money. ||55||

Hey gaavaane durust naahi kele|Towaree papaanche dongar waadhale|
sagale gaavachi bhagidaar zaale|samjaave tyaanche ||56||

If the wise considerate folks of the village do not try to put an end to this evil practice rooted deeply through extreme greed and if they don't root out the harmful custom of taking dowry, there will grow up a huge mountain of sins and impure wrong deeds in the social life of the village. The whole village will be held responsible and party for this downfall of humanity. ||56||

Kaahi gharee mulee upawara | Mulehi lagnaasaathi tayaar |
Tethe atyaa- saatyaacha vyawahaar | karitee konee ||57||

In some families there are boys and girls matured to get married. The parents of these boys and girls do not take more troubles to search for the proper match around or distant from their surroundings. They settle the marriages in their internal relations. i.e. when the boy in one family gets married with the girl in another family, the brother of the bride gets married with the sister of the bride groom. (This convenient arrangement is called `AATE SAATE').

Mula muleenchi nasata odha | Aapuliya soyeesaathi ughad |
Laditee maanewaree jokhad | Mayabaap ||58||

But this system bears a great flaw. Here, the parents the families have seen only their convenience. They don't have considered the likes and dislikes of their sons and daughters. Such marriages are some what a burden of dictatorship of the parents, and are like putting a yoke upon the necks of their sons and daughters. ||58||

Maga tethe bhaanda bhaandee | Mulagee maahereech na dhaadee |
Athawaa takoni karitee naasadee | jeewanaachi tichyaa ||59||

Then after some time struggles and quarrels emerge in both the families. Some elderly in-laws refuse to send their daughter-in-law to her maternal mansion. Some in-laws desert their daughter-in-law and refuse to accept her in their family. In this way, they destroy the precious life of the girl. ||59||

Kaahi aapulyaa maanakarita | Mulinchya daivee aanitee vyathaa |
Aisha waadhalya waayeet pratha | kiteetari gaavee ||60||

Some elderly individuals from the bridegroom's family make a cruel termination of the bride thinking that they were not given a proper respectful treatment which -(as their's was the bridegroom's side) they deserved. We find such egoistic tendencies growing in so many villages and societies. ||60||

Kaahi jaateet thevitee padada | Janu kondwaadyachachi dhanda |
Tyaane lagna zaaliyahi aapada | yetey kemwhaa ||61||

There are some sects and castes in which the tradition for maintaining veil by females is compulsory. The females have to put on the veil till they get married. This custom of maintaining veil by females can sometimes bring a calamity after the girls get married. ||61||

Mulagee padadyaane baghitalee nawhatee | Aata kalale tiralee hotee |
kaahi mhanatee lagnaa pratee | Maage ghyaave kaadimodeene ||62||

For example, in one case, the bride could not be carefully observed by the bridegroom and his family due to the veil she had put on. After marriage, it was found that the girl was squint-eyed. Now some elderly relatives are pressing upon canceling the marriage by giving divorce to the bride.||62||

Padadyaachiya prasthaamule | shahaane tihee hotee khule |
Gardeet pati chukala, gondhale | pade baapadi goondahaatee ||63||

Because of the imposing display of the custom of maintaining veils by females, the wise also become perplexed on some occasion. In the great rush and crowd, the girl finds her husband missing. She gets perplexed. Due to rush, mutual missing may occur and she may be caught and abducted by the evil ruffians. ||63||

Durjan burakhyaa aad lapavitee | Aisha striyaa nelyaa kitee |
Ajoonahi netra na ughadati | samaajaache ||64||

The evil wicked people have kidnapped and abducted several females and hidden them under the veils. But still, that sect or society is maintaining veil custom rigidly. It has not opened its eyes and realised the reality. ||64||

Padada paddhatee bahuparee bhove | Thoraanpudhe kadhee na yaave |
Pati shushrushaahee antaralyaa yaa bhaave | kititaree mulee ||65||

The custom of maintaining veils have imposed so many bad effects upon the society and the individuals. Due to the veils, girls can't dare coming out before the elderly persons and the strangers nor they can render their nursing services to their sick husbands. ||65||

Aishaa vichitra kaahi pratha | Modonee taakavya samaji vyatha |
Laawoo naye dosh maatha | konaa ekaachyaachi ||66||

At least some of such evil and harmful traditions and usages in the society should be discarded and the sorrows and sufferings of the victims of those must be minimized. It is meaningless to hold anybody alone responsible for all this and to blame him. ||66||

Kaahee mayabaap pora chadhavitee | purushe kaisehee waagave mhanatee |
Mulees ganjiti, maar devaveeti | Aisee vrutti aasuree ||67||

Some parents encourage and allow their sons to behave freely and wildly to their pleasure and on the other hand, they torment and agonize their daughters-in-law. They make their sons to beat their wives cruelly. These folks are monstrous and bear a very devilish tendencies. ||67||

Kaahi maayabaap muleeche kaiwaari | `hum' mhanata jawoni padatee dwari |
Aise kushikhshana naanaparee | dukkha sansaari waadhavee ||68||

Some parents of the girls take side of their daughters and go and create quarrels with the in-laws of their daughters. They advise their daughters to misbehave and live indifferently with their husbands and their relatives. They very often visit the sons-in-law's houses to struggle and quarrel with them. Such bad lessons to their daughters add more and more sorrows of the girls in their husband's families. ||68||

Kaahe pati patneeche sanghatan | paree aad yeyee thoraancha maan |
kaadimod, virodha athawa bhandana | karee variraan jeevan tyaanche ||69||

In some cases, the man and his wife do have good and loving ties between eachother. But the ego of the other elders in their family come in their way. The elderly relatives of the families of both have disputes for some reasons and they compel the man and his wife to oppose eachother and quarrel with eachother. In these struggles of the elders, the loving couple has to go to the extent of breaking the marriage and seek divorce. Thus, their harmonious life gets completely spoiled. ||69||

Kaahi lapawaa chaapavee karitee | Mulee nandayaasi na dhaaditi |
Kaahee mulinna odhooni netee | Tamaasha karitee jeevanaacha ||70||

There are some other strange folks. They hide their daughters when the in-laws come to take them to their house. The parents of the girls do not allow them to dwell in their husband's houses. They want that their daughters and husbands should break away from the family and live separately. On the other hand there are some fathers of the bridegrooms who forcefully pull out their daughters-in law from their parents. Thus in both the cases, those insolent parents of the man and his wife display the dirty disgraceful show in public and put the couple to a great shame. ||70||

Kaahee lagnaa aadhi lapavitee uneeva | Tyaachi pudhe hota janeeva |
Janmabharee bhogaava laage upadrava | sakalaansi maga ||71||

In many cases, some parents conceal the deformity or defects in their sons or daughters. After the marriage, these concealed defects come in the light and then the married couple and their relatives of both the sides have to suffer bitter and sorrowful consequences of the deceptive actions. ||71||

Kaahee badhaee daavitee knotee | kaahee rusatee aandanaasaathee |
soya na paahata karitee kashtee | parsparaansi soyare ||72||

At the marriage ceremony, some folks go on boasting. Some take huff for not getting enough presents as much they had expected. So they make both the families unhappy and upset by ignoring the conveniences and inconveniences of eachother. ||72||

Konaas daginyaanchi haava | sadgunaancha na kaley bhaava |
Tyaas phasavee nakalee vaibhava | jeevan gaarad muleeche ||73||

Some cherish a strong desire for valuables and ornaments. They don't understand the value and importance of good virtues. They get deceived by the false brilliance, showiness and superficial pomp of the fake and inferior ornaments. It further results in spoiling the life of the girl. ||73||

Mulee-mulaancha lagna bajaar | shikhshan, soundarya, noukareewar |
Bhaava nyoonaadhika tharavitee sachaar | jeevana moolye na jaanata ||74||

In the present state, the marriage system has become a markiet Nobody understands the importance of the fundamental principles that lay under the very spirit of marriage institution. While negotiating and settling the marriages, people give more and undue consideration and importance to education, beauty and the employment of both the boy and the girl. (They don't think of the virtues, temperaments, traits of the bride & bridegroom.) ||74||

Kaahee lagnaanche dalaal | udhalit jaatee rangagulaal |
Mulaa-muleeche jeevan halaal | karitee swarthastava ||75||

There are some touts (middlemen) who take part playing their own role in the settlement of marriages. They are selfish. They extract huge amounts from the families of both the bride and the bridegroom for settling the marriage. Then the enjoy all luxuries from both the sides. They have no concern for what happens to the couple in future. ||75||

Kahee mulinnaa khapawoo pahatee | dhyaanee na ghetaa neeti-aneeti |
Aisee laachaar kelee sthitee | Naana rudhyaanni ||76||

There are some fathers of girls who don't care for or don't seriously consider the value of morality and immorality. They select any individual as the bridegroom for their daughter's marriage, These several vicious evil customs and practices are bringing this sacred institution of marriages to a shameful deterioration. ||76||

Jyotishaasi dewoon-ghewoon | Manaasaarikhe kaadhavitee guna |
prasangee naavahee saangatee badaloon | Dambha daroona waadhalaa ||77||

Some pay bribes and hushmoney to the fortune tellers and get false horoscope prepared to match with that of bridegroom's horoscope. These greedy fortune tellers increase the matching scores with fake horoscopes. Many times, they even change the names of the girls for matching the horoscopes of the bride and bridegrooms. This can be said as the climax of pretensions in settling the marriages. ||77||

THE IDEAL DESIGN FOR THE IDEAL MARRIAGES

Akaashaateel paahatee gruhaiIkade swabhaavee vegale duraagruha|
jeevanaat waadhe jayaanni droha|Aise tyaanna na disatee||78||

The fortune tellers give much importance to the planets in the space But they do not have a considerate vision of the adamant and insistent tendency of pretensious human nature. So people don't understand the matters creating confrontation in the human life. ||78||

Mhanatee vadhu-ware sulakhshan|Julale tyaanche chhatees guna|
Ikade chhattisee athawaa khadaashtaka poorna|karee jeevan barbaad. ||79||

The fortune tellers examine the horoscopes of both the boy & the girl and say that both possess good matching score and good virtues. Their horoscopes show that they both score thirty six merit virtues. But in reality we experience in the practical life that their temperaments are fully filled with the figure thirty six, which means that their temperaments are completely contradictory to each others. Such blindness in settling the marriages make the life of both the boy & the girl a desolate desert. ||79||

Vadhoo-varaanche uttam guna|heychi parasparaanche mahaabhooshana|
Tyaa waachoni viwaaha kelaa vaibhavapoorna|taree to sarva amangala ||80||

The excellent virtues, which the bride and the bridegroom possess are naturally the token of their reputation. Neglecting this important aspect, though the marriage ceremony is celebrated in a great pomp and show, it will prove fateful in the end. ||80||

Kaahi thikaanee viwaaha karitee|vyaasaarakha paisa udhalitee|
upayog naahi aisee retee|kaasayaas aacharaavee? ||81||

Some enthusiastic folks squander extravagantly enormous money upon goudy celebration of the marriage. Why should one follow the custom and traditions which are impractical and useless in our life? ||81||

Lagnaache apaar sohale|Vinihee-vyaahee-maame sagale|
varhadaaunche gondhal sawale|yaasi viwaah mhano naye ||82||

The extravagant celebrations of marriages are beyond description. The in-laws of both sides, the maternal uncles and many other relatives of both bride & bridegroom gather together forming the marriage procession (varhaad or baarat). How can this shabby commotion be called a marriage? ||82||

Astaavyasta tarambala|udhalpattee aani dhawapala|
yaasi mhanaave kaarya amangal|kharcha nishphal paishaancha ||83||

In such rowdy commotion and untidy, undisciplined manner, the management of the marriage goes beyond control. It is totally disturbed by hectic activities, extravagant expenses and a wild rush here and there. It can't be called as the auspicious marriage and it means simply squandering money carelessly like water. ||83||

Lagnaakarita karja karaave|Janmabharee vyaaj bhareet jaave|
Lagnaasaathi kaphallak whaave|konya devey saangitale? ||84||

Father takes loan to celebrate his daughter's marriage and then he is compelled to pay the heavy interest on the loan throughout his life. In repaying the loan and the interest, he completely breaks down and becomes bankrupt. Who is the God that has advised the miserable person to do so? ||84||

Chaar-paach divasa lagna | Lagnaat hotee naana vighna|
Mothepanaache vidambana | kaasayaa karave? ||85||

Why should such marriage ceremonies be celebrated with pomp and show for four and five days? Why should be there so many disputes and arguments, counter arguments? All these events make the joyful ceremony a great ridiculous joke. ||85||

Aso adee-adachanee kitee|saadhileech paahije tithee|
Aisee kaa thewaavee pravrutti|rudhibaddha? ||86||

Why should we insist upon celebrating the marriage ceremony so rigidly on a particular day and time which the fortune tellers has given from the almanac? Why should we have such stubborn insistence when it makes us and others face a lot of problems and hardships? What a great slavery of customs and traditions is this! ||86||

Prasanna havaa, paanee, rutu|haachi viwaahaacha muhurta|
Baakeeche zanjata phaalatoo|samajato aamhee||87||

(Vandaniya maharaj says) The season which has a good and pleasant climate, favorable atmosphere, enough water supply and all other conveniences readily available, is the best time for performing the marriage ceremonies. All other matters are trifle and meaningless. ||87||

Diwasa pahaava sundar | Havaa paanee soyiskar|
sarvaas hoyeel sukhakar | Mhanoniya ||88||

It is better to choose the day for marriage ceremony when the climate, water and all other things are favorable and convenient to all and in all respects. This will make the ceremony full of joy and happiness to all. ||88||

Kharcha nako bhavya mandapaacha|Dekhaava asaava Nisargaacha |
Athavaa sabhaa mandap mandiraacha|Yojaava ya karyaasi ||89||

It should be avoided to raise a specious pendal and spend a lot of money on decorating it. The marriage ceremony should be arranged at some naturally pleasant and beautiful spot or at the spacious audience pendal of some temple. ||89||

Vel, paisa ani shrama | Waachawaavet karoni nema |
Gunaas dyaave mahatwa parama | Jaatee-dhana-bhrama sodoni ||90||

We should save time, money and labour in celebrating the marriage ceremonies. Importance is to be given to merits that the boy & the girls possess. We should not get trapped and tied by the temptations, caste spirit and money matters etc. ||90||

Sundara karaave sabhaa sthaana | Baisawaave sajelase jana |
Var-vadhoonna samor basawoona | Soochana dyaavi soochake ||91||

The marriage hall should be decorated beautifully. All the invitees and guests should be seated in the proper well arranged rows of seats. The bride and the bride-groom should be seated in front of the guests, visitors and the invitees. Then the organiser of the ceremony should give proper instructions for conducting the function. ||91||

Dyaava wadhu-varaacha parichaya | prakat karaava satkaarya nishchaya |
Maga saadhave karya mangalmaya | mangalaashtake mhanoniya ||92||

First the bride and bridegroom should be introduced to all. A volition to render noble meritorious duties should be got vowed by the marrying couple. Some sacred hymns and marriage odes (MANGALASHTAKA) as blessings to the couple be sung and the ceremony should be celebrated in joyful and enthusiastic manner. ||92||

Mangalashtakee viwaaha-uddesh | sajjaney karaava uchit upadesha |
yewoo na dyaava naatakee ansha | Apavitra tyaata ||93||

The auspicious blessing odes and songs (Mangalaashtaka) should bear the aims and objects of the marriage. The good noble wise men should deliver good advice to the couple (for living a happy married life). The ceremony should not have a dramatic appearance which may become some what superficial and inauspicious. ||93||

Sabha asaavi aadrsha poorna | Dewoo naye dhoomrapaana |
Dharma sanskaar waatave l agna|Agnidevate smaroniya ||94||

This auspicious ceremony should bear a feel of honour and respect for all those attending it. Showiness and frivolousness should not be seemed in any act or performance Bidis & cigarattes should not be offered to anybody attending the ceremony. All should consider it as an auspicious religious rite and perform it by remembering the deity Agni (The fire-God). This should be the spirit of the ceremony. ||94||

Vadeel janaanche aashish ghyaave | sarvaansi premaadare waagave |
Goda bolonee urkawaave | Lagna prasanga ||95||

The newly married couple should seek the blessings of the elders. They should talk and behave lovingly and respectfully with all. Thus the ceremony should be celebrated with sweet tongue with all by all, and for all. ||95||

Vara-vadhunna graameen khaadi | Aso junee wa navi saadhi |
Aisha vastreech lagnaakhshadee | padavya shiree ubhayataanchya ||96||

The bride and the bridegroom should put on the khadi apparels. These clothes may or may not be new. The colorful auspicious rice should be poured upon their heads when they are in such clothes at the ceremony. ||96||

Kapade asatee te ghalaave | Nasata dhuwonee swachcha karaave |
Aheraadee nako, lagna prasangee yaave | sarvajane aadare ||97||

For the marriage ceremony the bride and the bridegroom should put on whatever clothes they have. If they don't have new ceremonial clothes, they should put on their usual clothes duly washed and cleaned, No body should offer the couple any presents or gifts in cash or kind. All the invitees should attend it with loving and respectful attitude. ||97||

Lagnaanimitta bheteech dene | Tari ubhayataancha sansar suroo whava tene |
Athawa gaavache phitaave une | Aisee yojana karaavee ||98||

However, if some relatives want to give some gifts or presents to the married couple, they should offer such things that are essential and useful to fulfil their needs in house life. If they want to offer money as present, they should offer it for the scheme which will benefit the married couple, their families and the village too ||98||

Saraansha, lagnaacha prasanga | vichaarane karaava yathasaanga |
samajonee paristhitee, vel prasanga | sarva kaahi ||99||

In short, the marriage ceremony should be performed considering the circumstances, time and occasion. ||99||

Aisa haa mangal prasanga | Deshaache bhushavee anga |
samaaj jeevan kareel abhanga | waadhel keerti gaavachi ||100||

The marriage ceremony, celebrated in this manner will be embellishing to the nation. It will help the social life to grow unity and harmonious integrity and it will add to the glory of the village ||100||

Viwaahacha jo sanskaar | tyaache mahatwa sarvaat thora |
Tya paayavareech samaaj mandir | mhanoni sundar karayaasi ||101||

Marriage is the most important initiation in the life because it is the firm foundation of the temple form of the society Therefore, it should be celebrated with all considerations and ideal ways to adorn this society as a sacred temple. ||101||

Yaa saatheech vadhu-vara sambandhee bolalo | Nava nirmaan oghaane pudhe chalalo |
Sangonee ekada mukta zaalo | sudha-dukkha samaajache ||102||

(Sant Tukadoji maharaj says) Hence so elaborately I have spoken upon the bride-bridegroom and the marriage ceremony to help creating a new and ideal society as well as to tell you the sorrows and happiness of the social life. Now I have got rid of my duty to guide you with essential advice. ||102||

Stree-purush hee dona chaake | paraspara poshak hotaanikey |
Gaava naandel swarga sukhe | Tukadya mhane. ||103||

(The sant further says) Male and female are the two wheels of the cycle of the world. These two wheels should be befitting to the pace & speed of each other. Then only the heaven will dwell in the village life. ||103||

Iti Shreegraamgeeta grantha | Guru-shastra-swaanubhava sammata |
Viwaaha sanskaare graamoddhaar kathita | Ekvisaavaa adhyaaya sampoorna. ||104||

This graamgeeta scripture is fully consented and proved befitting to the trial by the Guru, sciences and self-experiences. The twenty first chapter of graamgeeta, in which the idea of uplifting the village and social life through the matrimonial rites is widely elaborated, is hereby concluded. ||104||

|| Sadgurunaath Maharaj ki jai ||

VOLITIONS

1) I shall never try to settle the marriage of the boy and girl who are not fit to each other. If anybody tries to do so, I shall oppose and try to bold up such marriages.

2) We shall never allow the outdated bad tradition of paying the dowary in the marriages and strongly oppose those who would demand or pay dowry.

3) We shall try to arrange all the marriages to be performed on one particular day in one pendal so that it will be a common social programme of the marriages for the village.

4) We shall take all care to avoid the unwanted and unnecessary expenditure and we shall avoid all such harmful customs and traditions which will make people to spend extravagantly.

5) The marriage day will not be determined on the norms given in almanac depending on the planet etc as on many occasions, they have to face hardships. The proper day will be decided on pleasant atmosphere, availability of fine air and a common public place having natural beauty and suitable for such common marriages. We shall arrange public marriages in our village.